Hope is faith holding it's hand out in the darkness.
George Ils
I didn't think I would be posting this soon. Today I got a call that every adult dreads about an aging parent. I found out my mother has adenocarcinoma. More commonly known as lung cancer. They still have to do another biopsy to find out what stage it is in before the prognosis is certain. I'd known about the possibility of this for over a month, but the shock is still there.
I've gone through many emotions today as I've talked to my mother, siblings and friends. Numbness, denial, anger...all the classics. But I found some light and hope. The light was that originally I was supposed to be away this weekend. And I've worked the last several Fridays. I've had the space today to process this and I've had wonderful loving support from people around me. The hope is that despite the fact they cannot operate to remove the tumors due to my mother's other health issues, that they will be able to treat it successfully through other means.
It's been tough though. I've been both a professional educating my siblings about how people react to the news, the stages of grieving (I used to work for hospice programs) and a daughter scared to my core at the possibility of losing my mother. I've encouraged my sisters to find balance, to accept the support of those around and to most of all just take it one moment at a time. They've given me their love and care in return. Again the light in the clouds of this event, I'm not alone...I have so many people who care for me and I give thanks for that.
Namaste.
Loreena McKennitt, "In the Bleak Midwinter":
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