Quiet Goodbyes

Best friends are like stars...you don't always see them, but you always know they are there.

 The hardest thing at times about my life is that somehow I have ended up living miles from my long term best friends and family. Every time I arrive to spend time with them and say, "hello", it seems as if it is just moments later that I am saying, "good-bye". In times past I didn't notice this as much, but since having my mortality dance with me, I am more conscious of this then ever.

I spent a wonderful week with my best friend Gail. We stayed at a hotel on the beach and reconnected. Now she is on her way to Canada and I'm in Philadelphia awaiting a flight home to California as I need to be back to my job next week.

You would think as you get older and more practiced good-byes would be easier. Instead it is harder because you know how precious to you the people you love are. Somehow you wish physically they could be always be there. The heart though knows somehow they are always with you.

Vertical Horizon, "Goodbye Again":

Diner Time

 The diner is everybody's kitchen.

Richard Gutman

 

 

I'm at the shore in central New Jersey visiting with friends. We have a tradition of going to diners when I'm here. This trip I decided to embrace a one bag philosophy for flying. As part of that I left my DSLRs at home and decided to see how I could do with my Galaxy Note 3. This moody shot of one the diners I went to was the result.



 

Martin Sexton, "Diner":

 

 

Begin Again

For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you will long to return.

Leonardo da Vinci

 

 

I took to the friendly skies (luckily) for a stay in Princeton, the Central Jersey Shore and Philadelphia. I'm visiting good friends for a week. My first trip since my breast cancer 2 years ago. Won't go into details about why it took so long, just that it did.

 

I am really beginning again.

 

John Denver, "Leaving on A Jet Plane":

 

 



Shake, Rattle and Roll: Did You Feel the Earthquake?

It takes an earthquake to remind us that we walk on the crust of an unfinished earth.

Charles Kuralt

As a transplant to California I have yet (and hope to never) experience a major earthquake other then a quick jolt. Early this morning I was awoken with calls from family and friends wondering if I was all right and had I felt the earthquake. My first response was, "There was an earthquake?" Then a quick Google search demonstrated how badly it had hit. 

I was lucky. The section of Northern California where I live didn't feel the effects. A friend in San Francisco told me she had been awoken by it, but there weren't any detrimental effects. I've often debated with native Californians that I would rather be in a tornado or hurricane, because more often then not you can get out of the way. And I've experienced both. At the end of the day though, I'd rather never be in any of the three ever again.

Here's being grateful that the harm and damage wasn't worst (although bad enough) and hoping "the big one" will never arrive in my lifetime.

Big Joe Turner, "Shake, Rattle and Roll":

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Remember to Smile

Use your smile to change the world, but don't let the world change your smile

 

 

During the past 18 months I found I had lost my motivation, my direction and even a sense of purpose. While I cannot say fully what the total cause was, I know a big part of it. The post breast cancer medication I took.  I tried to be a "good patient" and do what I was told to do so I could get the thumbs up from my medical providers.  What no one really covered or wanted to believe were the side effects of the medication. Inflamed joints, constant pain, sleeplessness, even depression. Finally I had had enough and after not being able to get off the floor one night and thoughts about if life was worth living like this, I made the decision to stop the medication.  My providers were not initially thrilled, but then my oncologist told me on the first visit post stopping the medication; "I think you made the right choice for yourself. The last visit before you stopped the medication, you didn't smile, you cried and that was the first time during the whole time in two years that you did that. Today you were smiling again."

 

I appreciated his honesty and that he got it. My life is getting back on track. I'm reopening the door to old passions and finding new ones. Life will never be what it was, but I am making it the best I can. I went to the mountains to celebrate my birthday last week. A friend and I camped. My dog decided she wanted to visit my friend's RV and her smile engaged mine. The world came into focus and seemed all right for the first time in awhile.

 

It's been a tough couple of weeks world, but keeping smiling, it's all we got.

 

Nat King Cole, "Smile":

 



In the Light of the Full Moon Laughter Died. A Tribute to Robin Williams.

 You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.

Robin Williams

It took something major to bring me back to my blog.

Losing Robin Williams affected me along with millions of others. His death resonates in a way that hits so many chords in so many hearts. Robin was a shining light and inspiration in places of darkness. I know when I went through my Mom's cancer and then mine, his comedy skits on my MP3 player got me though many a dark hour at night. The lose of him affects us all  so much because we need all the bright lights we can have in this challenged world. To have one go out too soon feels unbearable.

  

Birthed from dark depths

Bright spark dances merrily

Lighting the world's cold heart

Laughter's ember glows, flickers

Gone. Leaving sorrows ashes.

Thanks Robin for sharing our journey.

Lux Aeterna, "Requiem for A Dream":