Monday, February 9, 2009

Closure

I've often wondered why. I think part of it is there's never been any closure on it.
Darrel Rolfe

Two things happened yesterday to bring about the theme that's been on my mind today. First I went and saw "The Reader". I enjoyed it and found the acting enthralling. But I found that the theme running through various aspects of the movie was closure. Legal closure, emotional closure, spiritual closure....Then later when I arrived home I had a phone conversation about one of my sister's who is involved in a divorce and looking for some closure about what is occurring there.

As I drove to work this morning, I couldn't help but think of how much the need for closure affects us and drives us as human beings. When things happen we scream to the heavens "why???" and then seek some meaning or answer to bring about closure. Being a counselor I've come to think that this in the underlying reason for seeking help....It's often the primal scream in trying to make sense of it all.

I think the hardest thing for us to accept as humans beings is that closure is not always possible when we seek it from an outside source. Sometimes if we're lucky societal structure provides legal and moral closure to issues. However if we look for emotional closure from another being, then I think we have to realize, it's a gift that sometimes we're given. That is we cannot force emotional truth or reason from someone else. Only in some instances and in my experience these are rare are we given that satisfaction. I think when it comes to emotional closure the task more often lies what is within us, i.e. that we have to come to it through our own emotional and if you believe in such, our spiritual resources. Without going into too much detail, I have had some events in my life that left me shaking my fists at the universe and screaming the aforementioned "Why???" Some very wise teachers helped me learn the lesson of seeking closure from within. It might not have been the original scenario I had written, but ultimately the closure I reached was more mature and enriching because it was the gift I gave myself. And it is the gift that has lasted to this day. The hard thing is how to share the gift of this knowledge with others. Once in awhile I can teach the path of the means to find it within, but for many, they have to forge their own. But that's why novels/movies like "The Reader" are so important. They help us to look at these issues and maybe, just maybe begin to help us to understand and learn.

Chevelle, "Closure":


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