Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Brachtherapy Day 1.5 or Complications

Day started well. Did a guided meditation, a little stretching and left for day 2 of therapy. When I got to the center I found out that CRT was down and no treatment was possible as they have to scan the catheter before every session to make sure there are no problems. I told them it was all right and they said they would call later.

About 1:30 I still had not heard so I called them and they told me the machine was out of commission as it needed a new part. They told me they were trying to see if my surgeon could do an ultra sound which would allow them to do the treatment. I asked if I had time to run an errand at Barnes and Noble and they said yes. About 5 minutes after I got to B&N they called and told me to go to the surgeon's office. I told them I would be there shortly. Finally got to the surgeon's office, waited about 20 minutes and then she came in to do the ultra sound. After she did it, she couldn't get it to print. After working on it they stated it was out of commission and they would to find another available machine. I started to laugh. If I was superstitious I might have suspected someone put a hoo do on the machines. They didn't see the humor, but I just thought technology 1, medical staff 0. So finally they found a machine, got the result they wanted and sent me on my way. Luckily the radiation center is only about 5 blocks away and I was there in minutes. Waited another 20 minutes and had my treatment. It worked out though as I had appointment with my stylist to have my hair washed and styled as I cannot do it right now with the limitations I have. Best decision I could have made. My hair will be good for a few days and she will repeat the process on Saturday. Carlene you get my gratitude today because you have made sure I look and feel my best through all of this and it's been some of the best medicine towards healing I've had..

One funny thing. As I was going into the radiation center I saw a driver from one of the transportation companies I work with at my dialysis clinic. He looked stunned to see me there and I could tell, I was going to have to take the lead in the conversation. I just told him matter of fact that I had breast cancer, was being treated and was doing fairly well. Told him I'd be back in August and to say hi to everyone for me. He gave me a huge smile and hug. I could tell he was happy I had taken the lead and that my attitude made it easier for him. So lesson learned and reinforced. People will take their cue from you (at least most of the time).

Feeling balanced today. Still power napping about 1.5 hours. Not as nauseated. Ginger ale really helping. Picked up some good salad fixings at the Sunflower Market. Eating this way is becoming easier and more natural. In fact, my sugar cravings are almost gone. Oh Stevie Ray Vaughn makes a great musical companion when you are receiving radiation. Also have had to borrow a couple of photos from my backlog as I'm having trouble lifting my Olympus E-3 for very long. Here's my new dream camera, the Olympus OM-D:

Hopefully when I return to work in 6 weeks.

Will be in therapy a bit longer to make up for lost treatment today.

I found this after I completed the blog post. It came from the Yoga Journal's Daily Tip and felt I needed to include it as it is so reflective of the practice of gratitude that I have instituted since being diagnosed:

On the surface, gratitude appears to arise from a sense that you're indebted to another person for taking care of you in some way. But looking deeper, you'll see that the feeling is actually a heightened awareness of your connection to everything else. Gratitude flows when you break out of the small, self-centered point of view and appreciate that through the labors and intentions and even the simple existence of an inconceivably large number of people, weather patterns, chemical reactions, and the like, you have been given the miracle of your life, with all the goodness in it.

The truth is, you are supported in countless ways through each moment of your life. You awaken on schedule when your alarm clock beeps—thanks to the engineers, designers, assembly workers, salespeople, and others who brought you the clock. Your morning yoga practice is the gift of generations of yogis who observed the truth and shared what they knew; of your body (for which you could thank your parents, the food that helps you maintain your good health, doctors, healers, and the "you" who cares for that body every day)—the list goes on.
If you're like most people, you notice what goes wrong more often than what goes right. Human beings seem hardwired to notice how reality fails to meet some idea of how they think things should be. How many times a day do you sink into disappointment, frustration, or sadness because others haven't met your expectations? If you limit your attention to how life lets you down, you blind yourself to the myriad gifts you receive all the time.

Stevie Ray Vaughn, "Superstition":

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