Monday, July 30, 2012

Broken Open or A Changing Landscape



This has been a roller coaster day. Early this morning I went to the oncologist. Test results were not back. We waited almost an hour and a half. Finally I was told that 3 MammoPrints had been run with inconclusive results. I asked the doc if an Oncotype could be run and the answer was yes. We also established that I would do hormone therapy. I left the office feeling like perhaps I wouldn't have to do the chemotherapy.

Things changed at 2:00 pm I received a call from the oncologist. They had run a successful test via the MammoPrint and I was high risk. I told him I needed to call him back. So I contacted some friends to talk with them about it, bawled like a baby and then sucked it up and called the office back. I told them I would do it. The only thing I asked was that I start it after my birthday next Tuesday. Doc agreed that would be okay. So I'm waiting for a call with the details.

In the meantime I have appointments for massage, chiropractic and acupuncture care. I'll be using these to off set side effects since they are the most available to me here locally and one of them my insurance will cover. The doc assures me that I shouldn't have many side effects other then losing my hair. Not sure I believe that one......

chemotherapy
is the elusive truth that
they want me to trust

I know how the landscape I photographed yesterday feels. I'm feeling broken open, changed and vulnerable. It will get better....

I guess today I should be grateful there are treatments, but I cannot reconcile myself yet to the treatment.

Adam Lambert, "Broken Open":


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