Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Peering Out



It's been a quiet day. Just sleep and reflection. I'm feeling the need to get to the ocean and/or mountains to renew. It's hard when you can look out and see them in the distance, but know you have to wait to get there. But it's coming.

I'll be spending three days next week in silence at a hermitage. It's run by a group of monks and overlooks the ocean. I'm hoping to hear my inner voice even more clearly as I decide how I want to proceed with the next phase of treatment. There is no cell reception or WiFi. People might think it odd for a non-Christian to spend time at a Catholic hermitage, but I have found a place like this is for anyone who needs to spend time in solitude to help hear said voice.

I might have heard my inner self more in the last two weeks, but the fatigue and activity around me has made it hard. It's odd having been out of any active treatment for two weeks.  It almost feels as if I just had a brief illness that I am recovering from and that the breast cancer is not a concern. But that will change again in the next two days. It will be back on my plate front and center.

My gratitude tonight goes to the men/women who maintain a contemplative live and are willing to open it those who need it in times of crisis and change.

Prayer Monks of Big Sur/Silent Retreat Scrapbook:


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